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I don't want to be a bridesmaid

Dear Etiquette 101,

One of my closest childhood friends recently became engaged. While we were inseparable throughout high school, we attended different colleges and haven't been what I would consider friends in years. We're friendly when we run into each other in our hometown, but neither lives nearby anymore and we've each developed separate lives over the years.

Imagine my surprise when she has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. I know that we always said - as girls - that we would be in each other's weddings someday, but I certainly didn't expect the "honor" after not speaking for nearly 10 years.

Am I required to participate, since I technically agreed to be her bridesmaid so many years ago?

Signed, Daisy M.

Dear Daisy,

No. You're sweet for considering it as a tribute to your former friendship, but the cost and work involved in being a bridesmaid is not something you need do for someone who you haven't been close with in years.

Express your gratitude for her "thoughtfulness," but decline the honor.

Best of luck, Local-I-Dos